MR. & MRS. HAPPY HANDBOOK(丈夫和太太的幸福手册) pdf 下载 txt 阿里云 lit rtf azw3 免费

There can never be too many guides to staying married， especially when they’re as funny and insightful as this one。 The Fox News Channel broadcaster shares hilarious anecdotes from his twenty-year marriage， as well as tongue-in-cheek advice for men on staying out of trouble with their wives。 Steve Doocy is a humble teacher with a big heart who speaks with zesty appreciation for his one and only； his speaking voice conveys a perspective that both men and women will enjoy。 However， his exaggerated speaking style will seem overreaching to some and too often competes for attention with his ideas。 But with snippets of advice from his calmer-sounding wife to keep things in perspective， the production ultimately entertains。

INTRODUCTl0N

chapter one：In the Beginning．．．

For His Eyes Only：Ladies，Please Skip This Passage

My Date with Destiny：October27，1985

chapter two：The Wedding and the H0nevm00n

Our Wedding Day：Countdown to Cake

George 0f the Wedding Jungle：w’s Dos and Don’ts

What’s a Honeymoon？A History Lesson

Adam and Steve：My Accidental Honeymoon

Lovers and Lepers：My Honeymoon with Meg Ryan

Honeymoon Horror Story：The Man from Glad

Porn to Be Wild：Should you Camcorder Everything？

A for Effort：Grading the Honeymoon

ChaPter three：Marriage

You’re Mr&Mrs．Happy：NOW What？

what We Really Want：The Lowdown on Love

I Can See Clearly Now：The End of the Honeymoon Effect

From“I Do”to“Uh—oh”：Retraining the New Hire

Wedding CaSher$：I Married a Cheapskate

Love Me(Legal）Tender：Marrieds and Money

Tastes Like Chicken：The Fear Factor

The Edit Sweet：Honesty

Married to the Mom：In—laws

I Dropped When I Shopped：Gift Fatigue

Saturday—Night Fights：How to Argue Without Gunplay

Oh No、It’S Geraldo!When There’S an Age Difference

Rules of Engagement：Married in the Military

Gimme Shelter：YOur First Home

A Moving Experience：Relocating Your Family

The Aliens Next Door：Your Neighbors

Mr．Handy：Home Remodeling

King of Pain：Should I Go to the Hospital？

When I'm Dead．She’S Rich：Wife Insurance

Pet of the Year：Animal House

Volun—teers of a Clown：PuNic Service

Good Sports：Playing Together

Our Marriage Is Perfect，Let’S Date!An Experiment

chapter four：Kids

Growing YOur Family Tree：What Are Are You In For？

Pee on the Stick：Pregnancy

Dial M for Mother：Delivery Day

Sorry，Tallulah’S Taken：Naming the Baby

Breast Intentions：Feeding in Public

Fear Factor：Baby Monitoring

Nannygate：Finding a Babysitter

Say What？Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Parent Trap：A Parent’S Pop Quiz

Making the Grade：Time for School

My Boy in the Bubble：Are YoU Too Protective？

Where Did We Go Wrong？W_0rst．Case Scenarios

Crime and Punishment：Discipline

The Birds，the Bees，the Carrot：Talking About Sex

Dine and Dash：Feeding Time

Frequent．Crier Mties：Traveling with Kids

Almost Rubbed Out by Rudolph：Freak Accidents

chapter five： Mature Topics

Chapter six： Troubleshooting

Chapter seven：Happily Ever After

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书籍介绍

Ever since Eve asked Adam, "Do I look fat in this fig leaf?" it has been apparent that husbands don't know how to relate to their wives. Men believe they understand women and vice versa, but really men know as much about women as a cocker spaniel knows about assembling a Weber grill.

Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook, Steve Doocy's laugh-out-loud perspective on love, marriage, and family. The book can be used for its hilarious husband and wife wisdom or, if things aren't going well, as a projectile to get somebody's attention. This is not an advice book. It is a DON'T EVEN THINK OF TRYING THIS book. The author, his family, and his collection of friends (some very famous in the worlds of entertainment, business, and politics) have already discreetly made almost every conceivable marriage mistake, and it is their hope that this irrev- erent manual can save you the trouble of being an idiot on your own.

Doocy, co-host of Fox & Friends, who has been married for twenty consecutive years, provides real slice-of-life stories on everything from early marriage ("I love you, you're perfect, now wear this thong") and pregnancy ("You're eating for two? Who— you and Shaquille O'Neal?") to sending your child to college ("Is that a funnel?") and retirement (high-fiber appetizers on Viagra dates). Most of the stories conclude with "corrections" and additional wise words from Doocy's real-life wife, Kathy, who, after two decades of picking up Steve's socks in the garage, has developed a zany sense of humor herself.

There is also a handy troubleshooting section for when things go haywire, like during the eye- opening experiment undertaken especially for this book, wherein the author wanted to prove to his wife that they were perfect for each other, so he had them join an on-line dating service. Out of a database of several hundred thousand guys, he was not in her top 532 local men. Despite the fact that their one- month experiment ended a year ago, she's still getting photographs of single men whose head shots appear to have been taken at a recent skinhead convention. Luckily for him, she still prefers "bonehead to skinhead."

This book is a celebration of the pageantry that is wedlock, which starts with an "I do" and sometimes ends with a boiled rabbit. Let's face it, marriage isn't always as smooth as a forty-year-old's forehead after six months of Botox. In fact, marriage is ridiculously hard, but laughing about it is now incredibly easy with The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook.